just when you thought things just can’t get any worse

finding it harder and harder to do my readings.

das ist nicht gut

its that time of the daywhen everyone has gone to bed and the world is quiet, albeit only thru my ears. its the time of the day that my thoughts are the clearest, and when i can think and type and think.

i miss being able to control my own happiness. i hate the feeling of incompleteness, of insecurity, that resulting from entrusting your life in someone else’s hands. and that cold disappointment that clenches at your gut when you fail to get the warmth you so crave.

am looking for stability. not sure if that is something i can find or something that i must develop, on my own. i think its like my own problem but gawwwwwwwd.

i have no idea what i want to say in this post except. that i really cannot finish public law, and that i ahhhhhhhhh what a mess.